By Michelle Grisales
SUNY Stony Brook
While fewer children now wind up in the foster care system than in the past, those
who do often have special needs that require stable, safe foster family homes. But
there are more children in need of such homes in the Lower Hudson Valley than
there are families ready to take them in.
The need is greatest for foster families who can care for teenagers, LGBTQ+ youth,
siblings, children with mental or behavioral health challenges, and those who
require culturally or linguistically matched homes.
Officials in Westchester, Rockland and Putnam counties are looking for families
willing to take on the challenge — and who are open to the satisfaction that comes
with helping often-troubled children find a new path forward. All three counties
have expanded outreach to potential foster families.
Debbie Lesperance, 51, a Rockland native and Pomona resident, has fostered more
than 20 children over the last 15 years, adopting five of them, including the first
three sisters she fostered. While foster families are not expected to make such a
commitment, Lesperance believes that many people have what it takes to start with one child.
“If it’s something you’re thinking about, you probably have what they are looking
for,” she said.
New York state has tried to keep more foster children with
relatives
Several years ago, New York state, working with counties and cities, set out to keep
more children from troubled homes with relatives — giving those relatives extra
support — and out of the foster care system.
So the numbers of children in foster care may now appear to be quite small. But it’s
a challenging population.
“We consistently need homes for teenagers,” said Lisette Matos, deputy
commissioner of social services in Westchester County. “They deserve the same
chance at stability and connection that toddlers do.”
Rockland County is currently able to place all children, but will need more families,
“especially those willing to care for teens, kids with special needs, or who speak
Spanish or other languages,” said an email from Jill Stoll, Rockland County
Children and Family Services supervisor, and Lauren DeGennaro, senior
caseworker for child services.
This is where things stand locally:
As of early August, Westchester County had 214 children in foster care. More
than half were placed with relatives, leaving 84 in traditional foster homes,
many with mental health or behavioral needs.
As of mid-July, Rockland County had 74 children in foster care, with 63 in foster
homes.
As of mid-July, Putnam County had 11 children in foster care, with 16 homes
available.
A foster mother’s story in Rockland County
Lesperance, who is single, always knew she wanted a family, even if she wasn’t sure what form it would take.
She felt called to foster teenagers.
This calling was shaped by her early experience working at a residential treatment
center, where she supported girls between the ages of 12 and 18. There, she
observed the difficult realities facing teens aging out of the foster care system
without support.
Years later, she saw a notice in her church bulletin about foster care and adoption.
One meeting at the local Department of Social Services was all it took to get started.
After completing training, she received her first placement a month later, a group of three sisters, ages 10 to 14.
Lesperance has fostered over 20 children in 15 years. Some placements were short
term or emergency-based, but other children stayed for months or years. She’s kept in touch with many of them.
She currently has two more foster children living in her home.
Foster families receive a monthly payment that is meant to cover a portion of the
costs of caring for the children. These subsidies vary by county and the age of each
foster child. Foster families in Westchester and Rockland are considered part of the
New York City metro area and receive higher monthly payments that foster families
in the rest of the state.
Learning about how to help foster teens
Lesperance has created a warm, structured home. But taking in teenagers who have had to grow up quickly, often caring for themselves or siblings, has its challenges.
“They probably, from a very young age, have been the parent… and now someone
else is coming in and parenting,” she said.
It’s difficult for some foster children to accept her as a parental figure. Some
struggle to express their emotions.
Lesperance encourages her foster children to seek therapy. It can be a safe space for
them to share feelings they might not feel comfortable discussing with her.
“I’m big on if you’re not comfortable with speaking with me, it’s fine,” she said. “I’m not going to pretend like I have all the answers.”
Bottled-up emotions can surface in unhealthy ways, particularly if the child doesn’t fully understand their anger or frustration, Lesperance has learned.
“(They) may not know what those feelings are, and you don’t know why you’re
mad,” she said. “If you’re still angry about something, it’s always going to show itself in some form.”
Another challenge was finding support when going to her job in admissions at
Fordham University. She eventually partnered with another foster parent who
owned a daycare, so they could cover for each other when needed.
Foster children face the emotional impact of being uprooted
Children entering foster care are sometimes riddled with fear, stress and
nervousness.
Matos said that being removed from their home — even one marked by neglect or
abuse — can add trauma, not relief.
“It’s traumatic to be removed from your house, from the only place that you tend to know,” she said. “We want to make sure that where we’re placing them is safe, that they feel like they belong.”
She emphasized the importance of foster children maintaining cultural routines,
food familiarity and even spiritual practices.
“Home means so many different things for children,” she said. “We try to work with foster parents to support children so that they feel less alone and displaced and like they belong.”
Westchester, Rockland, Putnam help foster families at every step
Each county offers its own support structure for foster families, with the core goal
being that no family feels alone.
In Westchester, foster families receive specialized training in trauma-informed care, de-escalation and adolescent development. They also have access to crisis support through a Mobile Response Stabilization Team, a group of trained clinicians available 24/7.
“We don’t expect our foster parents to be clinicians,” Matos said. “But we prepare
them so they know what to do and who to call.”
Rockland County offers 30 hours of pre-service training, monthly support groups
(in-person and virtual) and mentorship from experienced foster parents. They
prioritize outreach through community events, social platforms and their website,
fosterrockland.com.
“Foster parents are regular people who want to make a difference,” Stoll and
DeGennaro wrote. “And they don’t have to do it alone.”
In Putnam, the approach is similarly hands-on. Each foster family is assigned a
dedicated caseworker and receives regular check-ins and support calls.
“The most important thing is that the families feel like they’re being supported,”
said Marci Jones, director of children and family services in Putnam County. “We
work really hard to make sure that they don’t feel alone.”
All three counties have expanded outreach efforts to find more foster families.
Officials attend fairs and nonprofit events to promote the need for families.
Fostering the ‘most admirable thing that you can do’
Lesperance encouraged prospective foster parents to stay open-minded, as others
may be skeptical.
“You might be open to fostering but the people around in your family and around
you may not be,” she said.
Nicolle McGuire, Putnam’s deputy commissioner for social services, said people
considering foster care should remember that they will have a lot of help.
“It’s not an easy road, but I think with the support of [our] team and the community … that it can work,” she said. “It definitely takes a strong person and a person with a big heart, but it’s something that’s worth it.”
Matos put it like this: “To be a foster parent and to open your home to a child in
need, to me, is the most admirable thing that you can do.”
